When we read this passage we become fixed on the phrase “be subject”, for this is contrary to our desire for autonomy and independence. The key word, however, is “honor”.
Peter begins by declaring from scripture that placing our faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, brings us honor rather than shame.
For it stands in Scripture:
“Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone,
a cornerstone chosen and precious,
and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”
So the honor is for you who believe, but for those who do not believe,
“The stone that the builders rejected
has become the cornerstone,”
This honor we are to demonstrate before the non-believers by our actions.
Keep your conduct among the Gentiles honorable, so that when they speak against you as evildoers, they may see your good deeds and glorify God on the day of visitation.
This word “honorable” (kalos) Basil the Great, the Bishop of Caesarea from 370 to 379 AD, understood as being beauty that is “harmonious in the composition of parts, possessing a grace that adorns it.” (See Richard C. Trench cvi. ἀστεῖος, ὡραῖος, καλός). We are to be a living stone that fits beautifully into the foundation that began with Christ as the cornerstone.
We must recall from last week, that we do this, because God is building not a cathedral nor a castle, but a spiritual house in which He may dwell.
As you come to him, a living stone rejected by men but in the sight of God chosen and precious, you yourselves like living stones are being built up as a spiritual house, to be a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.
And in this temple, we are the spiritual sacrifice (v 5) that is offered when we face an abusive employer, or an unbelieving husband or, when we must sacrifice in the care for our wife as the weaker vessel. Each is an altar in this temple.
If your enemy is hungry, give him bread to eat, and if he is thirsty, give him water to drink, for you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you.
To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
Of particular note is the warning that if you do not do this, particularly in the relationship to your wife, your prayers would be “hindered” (ekkoptō), or literally “cut off”.
1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
Because in that way we would be idolizing ourselves and God does not like idols in His temple!
“Therefore say to the house of Israel, Thus says the Lord God: Repent and turn away from your idols, and turn away your faces from all your abominations. For any one of the house of Israel, or of the strangers who sojourn in Israel, who separates himself from me, taking his idols into his heart and putting the stumbling block of his iniquity before his face, and yet comes to a prophet to consult me through him, I the Lord will answer him myself. And I will set my face against that man; I will make him a sign and a byword and cut him off from the midst of my people, and you shall know that I am the Lord.
It is a shame that too many stumble right here.